I'm frustrated. Maybe you can help me. :)

For quite awhile I've understood (at least to some extent) that modesty is important. From what I remember, the first time that the idea occurred to me was the time when my mom's friend made a comment about my shorts. I was about... seven or six, I think. I had this pair of bright pink shorts that I really loved. They stopped several inches above my knee.

So I got rid of them.

I think it was a few months later that I found a top that showed an inch or two of my belly. I don't remember who told me that it was immodest, but eventually I got rid of it for that reason.

So basically, I thought, as long as I don't show my belly, and don't show much of my legs, I'm modest. Fine.

But eventually it became clear to me that it's much, much more complicated than that.

On a message forum that I participate in every now and then, there was a discussion on modesty. A very, very lengthy discussion. As it went on, I began to realize that a lot of the clothing of which my wardrobe consisted is considered immodest by a lot of Christians.

So I got rid of it, of course.

Probably one of the main things was tight clothing. Someone posted that such clothing is immodest.

Fine, you can accuse me of having no brain if you want to. But to be perfectly honest, I had never really considered the idea that something tight, or even form-fitting like a simple button-down shirt, could be immodest.

There went about 75% of my wardrobe.

Then I was told that layering (LAYERING) of all things makes you look like you're just doing it because you have to. Supposedly, it "sends a message" saying that if you could, you'd just wear the immodest article by itself. You're only wearing the thing under it because you have to.

Wait. What?

That's ridiculous.

Obviously, a person who believes this has no idea how difficult it is to dress modestly (at least for me). Well, I'll try to help you understand, sir. :)

If a girl really wants to avoid showing cleavage, stomach, and leg (and to avoid "showing your shape," as I'll get to in a moment), it seems to me that most people have three options:

1. Sew your own clothes.

2. Sell all of your possessions in order to hire a seamstress.

3. Wear a burka.

4. Layer.

Oops! That was four. ;)

We try - we really do. But most of the above is either impossible or over-the-top, in my opinion.

Back to the tightness issue.
The descriptions that people give is too vague for me, possibly due to that brainless thing again. How tight is too tight?
Someone on the modesty thread asserted that if it shows your shape, it is too tight.

Uh...
A loose t-shirt shows your shape. If you don't believe me, Google "girl in loose t shirt." It's, uh, still pretty obvious that she has a chest.

So, I guess I'm supposed to nail shoulder-straps to a barrel.

Oh, wait a second! That would be immodest, because the thin straps allow you to see part of your shoulders! ;)

And the barrel would have to be long enough to cover your knees, of course.

But wearing a barrel could be considered odd, and would draw unnatural attention, making it extremely immodest.
I guess that idea's ruled out.

*sadface*


All right, I'm getting long-winded here. I'm just going to rant a tiny bit more and then get to the point/request.

Lookie here:
http://www.therebelution.com/modestysurvey/browse

Go to Posture/movement.

So... apparently I can't stretch in public. And apparently I can't run in public because running might cause something to bounce. And apparently I have to consider very carefully the way I pick something up off of the ground. And apparently I have to walk a certain way or else some people can't control themselves. Etc.

I'm having trouble believing that the way I reach down for something affects anything, especially because I'm not as attractive as most girls. And if a person is so lustful that they can't control their thoughts because of something so innocent, nothing I do will change that.


Disclaimer: This survey has brought to my attention a lot of things of which I would never have thought. It has helped, but I feel that it's still too subjective for my mind to understand. But I really have to give the Harris brothers much credit, because what they did is so, so, so much more helpful than what most people have offered. :) Thanks, guys!

But, unfortunately, the survey has basically reduced me to t-shirts and baggy jeans.

Okay. That is definitely enough ranting. :)




Tell me what you think about this subject. :)

Guys, do you have any specific guidelines for us girls? Can you assure us that you play the infinitely important role of keeping your thoughts clean? How important is modesty to you - both in the way that you dress (since the idea that no girls are visual is a lie!) and the way that girls around you dress? Do you appreciate our efforts? Is it possible for us to look nice while still being modest?

Girls, what are your standards, as specifically as you can explain them? Do you think that you can be pretty while still dressing in a way that pleases God? And most importantly (because I'm not sure), is anyone else confused about what is modest and what is not modest?

But I think my main, simple question for everyone is...


Can someone please tell me how tight is too tight? *pathetic whimper*